Dear Internet, Please Stop Telling Me To Add Places To My Bucket List

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As I’m scrolling through Facebook, I see all sorts of headlines advising me on everything I have to add to my bucket list. One tells me the 50 places in Europe I must see before I die. Another orders me to explore 25 underrated East Asian cities. A third insists that unless I’ve eaten these 25 street foods in Thailand, I’m not really living.

My bucket list is now 100 entries long just to see two continents and, if I live to be 101, I’ll still never be able to fit in half of these trips.

I don’t want to speak for everyone — maybe some people like the idea of unreachable goals — but I want to be able to at least make a dent in my “to-do before I die” list. (That’s where the term “bucket list” came from. Before you kick the bucket, you want to check off all the items on your list.) Prior to becoming hyperbolic internet speak for a moderately cool thing you might want to do, your bucket list was a carefully curated itinerary of adventures and aspirations. They each symbolized something special, maybe overcoming a fear or reaching a lofty goal.

Sure, there are people out there who can complete a list of 100 worldwide destinations in a lifetime. But even for pretty well-off city dwellers, us rich and spoiled urban millennials, that’s pretty far-fetched.

Realistically, the average American millennial takes one international trip a year. We’ll give two to ambitious travelers with some serious disposable income (or budgeting skills). And let’s assume these imaginary vacationers have 15 days of paid time off each year. They use a couple of those days to go home for the holidays, leaving 12 days or so to see the world.

They plan one long weekend trip to somewhere close. Subtract half a day of travel time — even NYC to London takes six to eight hours — and that leaves four days to see the sights, eat all the foods and take all the millions of travel photos. Because did you really complete a bucket list trip if you didn’t post a photo of it?

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The remaining 10 days of vacation time are dedicated to a whirlwind trip somewhere magically far away. Capitalizing on weekends, that’s a maximum of 18 days. Factoring in transportation to the other side of the globe, you’re left with 15 days of adventures. You could see 10+ destinations in those days, but we’ve rarely met a spot that didn’t deserve more than 24 hours.

Ever-growing bucket lists encourage us to think we have to see a million places instead of really immersing ourselves in a few. And while that is one way to travel — if you must — it’s not the best way. It’s a horrible feeling to realize you’ve spent more time in transit than actually exploring a destination. You could try to see Paris, Rome, London, Amsterdam and Berlin in two weeks, but you’ll be so busy running from the Eiffel Tower to the Coliseum that you won’t ever get to really slow down, sip an espresso and enjoy the flavor of the city.

Real people have a limited amount of time and money to travel the world. Most of us can’t see 50 places in Asia or 21 sites in Peru or 15 Eastern European cities. And pretending like it’s easily achievable is a good way to fall into a pit of depression while scrolling through Instagram posts of the lucky few who do constantly travel.

So please, internet, stop telling me to add things to my bucket list already. I don’t want to hear about the 1,001 places I have to see before I die. I want to be convinced why a single destination is worth a coveted place on my limited list. And then I want to go there, see some sights and slowly drink my coffee without worrying about the rest of my lifelong checklist.