Here’s Why You Should Never Think Of Your Boss As Your Friend

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How’s your relationship with your boss? If your answer even remotely resembles “We text on the weekends,” “I’ve told her that I wasn’t coming in because I was hungover” or “We’ve gone out and gotten drunk together on multiple occasions,” you’re likely actual friends with your boss. And though every company and team dynamic is different, we have a strong case for why you should never be friends with your immediate superior.

We understand that situations vary. You could have become friends before he or she became your boss. Maybe you know you’ll be friends forever. That said, we encourage you to assess your own situation critically before making any sudden moves, and to consider why friendship probably isn’t the best card to play.

1. You’re putting yourself, and your friendship, in a risky position if your performance goes south.

Let’s say that you and your boss have a great working relationship and personal relationship. All seems well until you start slipping at work, or higher-ups are putting pressure on your boss to bring in better numbers. Any strain on your personal performance or even team performance could put your friendship with your boss on the line. Your boss’s first priority is likely to keep team performance up, and if it isn’t, then that’s an even bigger problem. If your boss is ignoring your poor performance, you both will likely pay the price later on.

2. Your coworkers may feel uncomfortable.

If it’s known around the office that you and your boss are good friends, you can bet that your colleagues are uncomfortable with it, especially if they’re also managed by your boss. You may be deemed the favorite, and as a result, resented by your peers. Company culture is one of the most important factors in keeping an organization running successfully, so if your team is negatively affected by you and your boss palling around in the office, you’ll be killing your relationship with them.

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3. Conversations about honest feedback might be difficult to have.

Everyone deserves honest feedback on their work, specifically to help them become better employees. But if you and your boss act like best friends, it will probably be difficult for him or her to be direct with you about how you’re doing. Unless your performance is impeccable, which is nearly impossible, your boss needs to give you constructive feedback, and your boss may not feel comfortable enough to do that. Similarly, if you love your boss as a friend but wish he or she was a better manager, you’re less likely to be forthcoming about that fact for the sake of keeping your friendship solid.

4. Your out-of-office relationship may be plagued by… well… the office.

Though we’d argue that you should probably prioritize keeping a job over keeping a risky relationship, we understand that sometimes you really will find a lifelong friend in your boss. Here’s the thing, though: If you do prioritize your friendship over your work, your personal relationship might suffer because of the office. For example, if you’re brunching on a Saturday and you say something negative about a team member or even your boss’s boss, he or she might be put in an awkward position to respond as the “authority figure” and say that your comments are inappropriate. If you don’t know how to disconnect your work life from your relationship, you’ll soon see the strain on your off hours, especially if your boss chooses to be your boss first.