Stay On Your Server’s Good Side With 11 Insider Tips

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You know how it goes when you’re out for dinner and your server looks at you like you just asked them to donate a kidney? Welp, there are ways to navigate through dinner so this doesn’t happen.

You might like to think you’re a shining star and you deserve to be treated like a New York Times food critic or Meryl Streep when you’re out to dinner, but the truth is, your server has already been on his or her feet all day long dealing with people like you, or maybe worse. Staying on your server’s good side throughout dinner can make a huge difference in your experience. We got the inside scoop from servers at two different restaurants. Here are some tips for your next meal out.

1. Acknowledge your server is alive, but you don’t need to act like best friends. The server is there to make your experience better, but he or she can do the job just as well when treated like a normal person.

2. Be vocal with your server. Let them know your preferences. If something on the menu is confusing or you don’t see your favorite wine listed, tell them what you’re looking for and let them help you.

3. Don’t explode when things don’t go as planned. Keep in mind that there are a lot of moving parts at a restaurant. If your food is running late or comes out differently than you expected, chances are it’s not your server’s fault. Yes, maybe the server brought you the wrong wine or forgot that extra side of broccoli, but he or she is only human and remaining patient and calm will go a long way.

4. Trust your server and keep an open mind. Servers often have pretty much tried everything on the menu. If you tell them your preferences, maybe they can make a suggestion that’s exactly what you’re looking for.

5. Don’t say “I was a server once.” It comes off as condescending. The truth is your server really doesn’t care. It tends to be the older customers who mention their younger serving days, so give your family a warning.

6. Don’t waste the server’s time by having them read you all of the specials if you already know what you want. If you think your server genuinely enjoys reciting 15 extra menu items verbatim, you’re sadly mistaken.

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7. Let your server know if you think he or she is doing a good job. Every server is different, but some might enjoy being part of your dining experience. Don’t feel obligated to include your server in a conversation, but if you’re vibing with them, make his or her night a little extra entertaining and be that table he or she remembers. If your server likes you, they might be more likely to top off your wine glass or send you a free dessert.

8. Ask questions first. Don’t act like you have your shit together and when you’re about to order, go through a list of 5o questions. Get the details before making your choice. If you need more time just let your server know so he or she isn’t hovering over your table and wasting time that could be spent on more productive things. Chances are your server doesn’t want to watch you stare at the menu.

9. When your server comes over to the table, stop talking amongst yourselves and listen. This shows your server you’re respectful and it’ll set the tone for the whole meal.

10. Wait for your server to say his or her name before you yell DIET COKE.

11. Say please and thank you, it’ll carry a lot of weight and it’ll make your server go that extra mile.

If you’re going out to dinner somwhere that’s been on your restaurant bucket list, chances are you’ll want to make the most out of your experience. Pissing off your server can turn an amazing night into a crappy one. Take these tips with you and be mindful that your server is a person too and at the end of the day we’re all just trying to live.