This Is What Happens When You Eat An Entire Bag Of Halloween Candy In One Sitting

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Did you stock up on candy like the apocalypse is coming and then only receive a handful of trick-or-treating visitors this year? Us, too. And while we missed the cute kiddos, we honestly weren’t mad that we got to indulge in our purchase ourselves. But we definitely overdid it, and now, an empty bag of Halloween candy later, we’re thinking, “Oh God, what did I just do to my body?!”

Before we all jump into sugar-induced panic mode, take a deep breath. One massive candy binge will not lead to any horrible, acute health problems (unless you’re diabetic, of course). Your digestive system can be pretty resilient when it comes to one-off food fests. But it’s still worth knowing exactly how your body deals, right? Here’s what’s going down now that you’re stuffed to the brim with Reese’s pumpkins and candy corn.

Your Mouth

Because sugar is already the basis of energy that your body needs to function (glucose), you actually start absorbing it when it’s still in your mouth. Your saliva helps to start the breakdown process and the tissues of your mouth can absorb it as the rest continues down your esophagus and into your stomach.

This why dentists are constantly rambling on and on about how sugar is so bad for your teeth — when you eat a lot of it, that potent absorption can lead to tooth decay hella quickly. Interestingly, some dental professionals actually prefer for you to eat all of your Halloween candy at once rather than over the course of several sittings because it exposes your teeth once to that sugar overload as opposed to multiple times. Just make sure you brush your teeth (and thoroughly) when the candy affair is all said and done.

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Your Stomach

Once all that candy reaches your stomach, digestion occurs as it normally does. Your stomach acid breaks down your favorite chocolate, nougat and fruit-flavored chews, at which point the remnants move on to your intestines and mix with digestive enzymes to continue the lovely process. As this happens, all of that sugar is absorbed and hits your bloodstream like a bolt of lightning.

Your Blood

Depending on how big of a sugar bomb you just created, your blood sugar is going to spike — and pretty damn high. While it’s temporary and nothing to fret about if you don’t gorge on the regular,  it will make you feel pretty uncomfortable. Expect to get super antsy, nauseous, energetic or a fun combination of the three, and then super lethargic and blegh once that inevitable and super rough crash hits. This is that “I think I’m dying” moment. At least your body will be done processing this seasonal regret within a span of four hours.

Your Figure

Good news: This one candy catastrophe will not cause you to gain a scary amount of weight (again, as long as this really is a once-in-a-blue-moon occurrence). On the other hand, you will probably feel extremely bloated and icky, especially if you downed dense picks loaded with peanut butter and chocolate. The feeling will pass with time, so just keep water handy as your body curses you for what you’ve done and tries to balance it’s wildly out-of-whack blood sugar levels.

Phew. At least Halloween only rolls around once a year, right?

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