The One Thing You’re Not Doing For Your Friends On Their Birthdays

Unsplash/Charles Etoroma

You’ve got the perfect outfit for your friend’s birthday bash, the perfect card that will make her cry and a plan to buy her the first two shots once you get to the bar. All these gestures are adorable, but there’s just one little thing you and your other friends are overlooking: money. Are you doing an individual or communal gift? If you’re going to dinner, are you all planning to pay for your friend? Does everyone attending know that? Here’s how to make sure your friend has an incredible birthday without any awkwardness about who’s paying for what.

Find out who’s going to your friend’s birthday bash.

If your friend created a Facebook event, you can see everyone invited, which means you can group message the crew to see what the deal is. Don’t worry if it feels awkward to reach out — wouldn’t you rather have this awkward moment now rather than in front of the birthday star at the big event?

Unsplash/ikhita Singhal

Make a game plan.

No matter what your crew is planning (bar hopping, a picnic in the park, brunch, etc.), make sure you talk through what you all are willing to pay for. Make sure you are all on the same page — if even one of you is not cool with covering your friend that day, the whole plan will be out of whack. Decide right then and there if you’re getting a gift collectively or individually, or if you’re not going to give a gift at all and instead cover the food and/or drinks. Maybe you’re all not interested in paying for anything. If that’s the case, at least you decided collectively.

If you decide to cover food or drinks for your friend, tell the waitstaff as soon as you arrive at the venue.

Avoid having your friend feeling uncomfortable when she gets a separate bill and you have to fight to get the waitstaff to change all your bills to include hers. (Seriously, it’s mortifying.) Letting the waitstaff know beforehand that your friend will not be paying her individual bill will help make the payment process smoother (and way less awkward).

RELATED

Here’s How To Know Whether To Give A Gift If You RSVP’d ‘No’

Here’s How To Navigate Expensive Friendships Without Going Broke